Podcast #24 - Divorced Dad Minute - Divorce 101: Step 5: Mediation

The following is not legal advice

 

 Podcast #24 - Divorced Dad Minute - Divorce 101: Step Five - Mediation: Play Now | Play in Popup | Downloads 743

Mediation is the next step of Divorce 101:

STEP #5: Mediation - A professional mediator can help when the lines of communication break down. Mediators are trained in conflict resolution. It's always a good idea to have an intermediary when there are difficulties in reaching compromises. Plus it is a concrete demonstartion / evidence of the willingness to negotiate.

Mediation as a Divorce 101 strategy is extending an "olive branch of peace".

There are two types of mediation, which normally are agreed in advance through a mediation contract that spells outthe terms of the mediation and the subject matter:

1) Open Mediation - A report can issue from this form of mediation and can be used in Court as evidence.

2) Closed Mediation - No report can issue from this form of mediation or be used in Court as evidence.

There are several differing forms of mediation within these two groups:

- Regular mediation: The most common form when two parties meet with a mediator both together and separately to come to a compromise

- Shuttle mediation: When the parties cannot face each other, sometimes a mediator will conduct a negotiation with the parties in separate rooms. The two parties also can meet with a mediator separately to come to a compromise.  

- Therapeutic Mediation is the combination of conflict resolution with an exploration of the root causes of disagreements from a therapeutic perspective. Again, the two parties meet with a mediator both together and separately to come to a compromise. However, they don’t meet together with the mediator to do therapy unless that’s agreed upon in advance.

Mediation can produce an interim agreement in principle. It is then reviewed by both parties lawyers who render legal advice prior to execution.

Alternately, a divorced dad can use mediation as a “Cornering Strategy” when dealing with a difficult or stubborn ex-wife who either refuses to negotiate or always changes the terms of any deal that is brokered between themselves or with the help of lawyers.

A "cornering strategy” is defined as a tactic designed to demonstrate the objective truth. It is then up to the Family Court Judge to assign weight to that evidence as to its relevance, what does it actually demonstrate, how reliable  it actually is, then to draw inferences and conclusions if possible, either positive or negative from that part of the evidence.

Most divorced dads give up the idea of using mediation when Mom won't participate. You however have a better game plan: As an alternative, you'll attend sessions by yourself, to improve and learn new communication skills from a mediator. When mediation is used in this manner it is a "cornering strategy” designed to demonstrate who is focused on making things better through example, and who is focused on waging war, even when they do so in a passive aggressive manner.

In order to do this, you’d need a mediator to agree that they’d be willing to meet with you. Understandably, in the future, you could not use this mediator, as there might be a perception of bias.

In this scenario, a mediator might possibly report that Mom did not and/or refused to attend, that you did, and that you worked together on improving your communication skills in order to assist in your negotiations. However, no report of this kind can draw definite conclusions on why Mom did not and/or refused to attend, unless she so indicated her reasons.

In the final analysis, mediation is a tool which can be very helpful. Even if you must think outside of the box to utilize and unlock it’s potential to resolve your Family Law matter.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

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