Podcast #9 - Divorced Dad Minute - Define & Clarify Your Most Realistic Family Court Goals

The following is not legal advice

 

 009 Divorced Dad Minute: "Define & Clarify Your Most Realistic Family Court Goals": Play Now | Play in Popup | Downloads 609

Focusing on fathers rights instead of your child's rights is not the way to succeed or improve child access, visitation, and custody matters before the Family Court.

In Family Court, Judges only care about what's best for your child. That's what the law dictates a Judge consider.

To begin with, focus on the end result. Keep in mind, that first you must define and then clarify your most realistic Family Court goals. When it comes to custody, access and child support you need to have a realistic appreciation for where you are positioned, based on what the law says and the current interpretation of those laws.

Next, keep in mind the adage: "…that what you focus on is the thing that most likely will begin to manifest itself…"

For example, we often have told the story of a fellow who lost control of his car while traveling on a country road. He focused on the fact that he believed he would hit a telephone pole. Because he was focused on the telephone pole, that's exactly where he aimed his car.

Despite the fact that the telephone poles were almost a 1/4 mile apart in distance. Get the point? He should have focused on the gap between the poles…

Self Improvement Guru Anthony Robbins tells a story about taking a racing car driving course known as skid school where the very same principle is taught. Student Drivers are sent into the racetrack with an experienced instructor, who can with the touch of a button send a racing car into a skid.

The student must then react quickly, or face certain death by hitting the retaining wall of the race track. When the instructor puts the car into the skid, invariably the student driver gets locked into focusing on hitting the wall.

The instructor yanks the student's head to focus them on the road ahead in order to pull out of the skid and not hit the wall. This process is repeated until the student driver naturally knows what to do every time the car goes into a skid.

Bam…car goes into a skid…
The race car driving instructor yanks student's head…
The student's gaze is now upon where to steer the racing car
And the car comes out of the skid….

Bam…car goes into a skid…
The race car driving instructor yanks student's head…
The student's gaze is now upon where to steer the racing car
And the car comes out of the skid….

Bam…car goes into a skid…
The race car driving instructor yanks student's head…
The student's gaze is now upon where to steer the racing car
And the car comes out of the skid…

Repetition is the mother of all skill - Changing a natural reaction takes a lot of patient practice and rehearsal. Training your natural reflexes to do what you want them to do, instead of your natural inclination to succumb to fear by freezing up under pressure takes time.

But it can be done.

Operating in a hostile environment such as Family Court can be a terrifying experience if you go there unprepared. However if you think things through, plan, test, observe modify and lose those elements of your divorce management plan that aren't working, you can improve things quickly.

Remember this principle: People think that if they win in Family Court means the other side really has to lose.  Well, if the other side loses, do you think they're going to give up?

It's not going to happen.
 
In the end, the biggest losers in most cases are the kids. 

Unless of course you begin with the most realistic end result in mind: Waging Peace on behalf of your children as opposed to waging war over your children. If that principle is central to defining and clarifying your most realistic Family Court goals when it comes to custody, access and child support, you are ensuring a win/win approach to your Family Court Strategy.

Judges appreciate that approach. Your kids will appreciate it tenfold.
Focus on is this principle. hold it dear to your heart, allow no one to dissuade you from it.

And it will begin to manifest itself. Both of us have seen it again and again manifesting itself in our lives, and those of our clients. We will have a special audio available in the near future of one of our most successful clients, Sean Slaven.

He took this approach to heart and now has his son between 65-75% of the available parenting time. When we first met Sean, he was almost positioned to have his parental rights terminated.

Within 15 months, he achieved the above parenting goal. If you apply these principles diligently, there is every possibility you can to.

There are no guarantees in life, but there is one almost certain guarantee: If you continue doing that which is not working, it will continue keeping on not working….

Got it? Good now go practice and rehearse what you are learning from us.

Let us know how its working out by joining us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call Divorced Dad Weekly where we go into more depth on these concepts.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

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