Podcast #21 - Divorced Dad Minute - Divorce 101: Step 2: Communication

The following is not legal advice

 

 Divorced Dad Minute # 21 - Divorce 101: Part Three: Step Two - Communication: Play Now | Play in Popup | Downloads 683

Let's examine the next step of Divorce 101:

STEP #2: Communication - Learn to apply these skills: Regulation of self-talk, Reframing of how you see and describe a situation to yourself and others, Persuasion and Influence. These skills enable proper comprehension and articulation of the problems. This always leads many creative solutions.

You need to learn to apply these skills, regulation of self-talk, meaning the way that you talk to yourself; reframing, when you're thinking negatively, reframe the situation into something positive.  The powers of persuasion and influence will be skills that go a long way to helping you in family court in your negotiations.

These are really important steps to learn and skills to master. The place to begin is to accept that the how you communicate to yourself and others has a HUGE impact on your outcome. By taking responsibility for the impact of your communication on yourself and others, you can literally turn a situation around through reframing and repositioning yourself into best position possible circumstances within the set of facts that make up your Family Court case.

First begin with the little voice in your head. If you’re prone to accentuating the negative in any situation, then you need to train and condition your mind “to seeing the glass as half full, instead of seeing the glass as half empty…”. The manner in which you describe the world to yourself affects how you see the world, and how you interact with it. Being negative, contrary, argumentative or communicating in any manner that others don’t want to listen to is your “wake up call” to examine how you describe and see the world to yourself.

So first focus on the voice inside your head. Begin a process of reconditioning the way you talk and communicate internally. If you’re having difficulty, then apply Step One - Invigoration to “break the circuit” of negativity in your self-talk. Remember, physiology will affect your feelings and your feelings will affect your communication, especially how you see and describe things to yourself.

The next stage is to examine the impact of how you communicate to others. You need to develop a burning desire to master the principles of human relations, and apply those principles at every opportunity. Make it into a game and try to catch yourself violating those principles.  ThTake responsibility for the impact of your words. Pick up at your local bookstore the book:

"How to Win Friends, and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. It's available as a paperback book just about anywhere books are sold.

This book is one of the biggest selling books of ALL time. You don't even need to read it cover to cover, BUT we suggest you do, To get the most immediate impact, read the summaries at the end of each chapter. That's about 8 very short pages. This book will teach you the following four areas of “communication mastery”:

PART 1: The Three Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

PART 2: The Six Ways To Make People Like You

PART 3: The Twelve Strategies How to Win People To Your Way of Thinking

PART 4: The Nine Principles of How To Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

In total there are 30 Dale Carnegie Communication Principles divided over these four parts of his book. When you have a communication problem review these 8 summarized pages of principles, and then dig into the specifics that you think may be the root of the problem from the perspective of what you are communicating.

You can’t change how people see you and think about you without first changing yourself. Step 2 - Divorce 101: Communication is the method to access the tool you need to get the job done right the first time, instead of resorting to blaming someone else for all your problems.

The mastery of communication skills, as taught in the Dale Carnegie Book: "How to Win Friends, and Influence People" leads to better creative solutions for divorced dads. Taking the principles in this book to heart is one of the most fundamental and powerful strategies when “waging peace” in Family Court.
 
Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

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