Podcast #19 - Divorced Dad Minute - Divorce 101: Introduction
The following is not legal advice
Today, we're introducing the steps to Divorce 101. This is an overview of seven steps to divorce healing. For the next several installments, we're going to be going through each and every one of these steps in more detail. These are the fundamentals of your divorce management plan.
STEP #1: Invigoration - The death of one's family brings about 4 stages: Denial, Anger, Grieving and Acceptance. Vigorous physical activity helps lower stress. This supports problem solving which leads to Acceptance.
STEP #2: Communication - Learn to apply these skills: Regulation of self-talk, Reframing of how you see and describe a situation to yourself and others, Persuasion and Influence. These skills enable proper comprehension
and articulation of the problems. This always leads many creative solutions.
STEP #3: Education - Believe solutions exist and you will begin to see them.
Books, tapes, professionals, support groups, self-help resources provide ideas. Without ideas, the process grinds to a halt.
STEP #4: Negotiation - Most people rely on 1 or 2 negotiating strategies. Study, learn and apply the skills required to negotiate. Increase your options and you are closer to a creative win/win solution.
STEP #5: Mediation - A professional mediator can help when the lines of communication break down. Mediators are trained in conflict resolution. This strategy is extending and "olive branch of peace". Most divorced dads give up the idea of using mediation when Mom won't participate. You however have a better game plan: As an alternative, you'll attend sessions by yourself, to improve and learn new communication skills from a mediator. When mediation is used in this manner it is a "cornering" strategy designed to demonstrate who is focused on making things better through example.
STEP #6: Enrichment - Consult a child psychologist. They can assist with parenting enrichment & a parenting plan. This will heal your child from the impact of the divorce by undersatnding, appreciating and learning how you can best meet your child's developmental needs.
STEP #7: Litigation - The absolute last resort. If you have taken the time to methodically work through these steps properly, you can establish that you have the skills and the willingness to work things out. Sometimes it will be the most effective step, but you MUST not simply skip over the other steps. By objectively working your way through the steps that seem most appropriate, you will enhance the prospect of reaching this goal:
These are the steps to applying this formula successfully:
Winning = Peace For Your Child
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Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.
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Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
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Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts
