Podcast #16 - Divorced Dad Minute - Cost Benefit Analysis: Is It Really Worth Fighting Over?

The following is not legal advice

 

 Divorced Dad Minute # 16 - Cost Benefit Analysis: Is It Really Worth Fighting Over?: Play Now | Play in Popup | Downloads 492

Divorced dads in Family Court, have to pick their "battles". This often calls for "soul searching". The place to begin is to ask yourself: "Is this really worth fighting over?". Next ask yourself this question: "How would our children feel about me fighting with their mother?" When you've answered those two questions, you should have a brand new perspective.

Kids don't want their parents fighting over them. That is far different from asking thoughtful questions, inviting Mom to explain why she has taken a certain position, or why she's behaving a certain way. That's not confrontational. Even if Mom sees it as such, it doesn't make it so. And any level-headed person can see that. It's very important that a divorced dad see it that way.

The essence of waging peace when you are a divorced dad is this:

It is not about winning an argument; it's not about winning a certain Court order; it's not about being right and having the satisfaction of triumph. It's about loving your kids and meeting their best interests for peace.

Sort out what the priorities are, find common ground, build from their, because that is what will best serve your children if you need a Family Court Judge to intervene and accept your point of view.

Waging Peace is all about "The Art of Persuasion", which often relies upon how you are positioned. If you rise to the bait of anyone, you ten give away your dignity and power because you have handed control of your reactions to someone else's poor behaviour and choices.

That's not how you hold someone accountable; and in Family Court without the benefit of applying Cost Benefit Analysis, meaning how much is my strategy going to ultimately cost in terms of money, hard feelings, the children's peace of mind in their day-to-day life with Mom, the cost of the solution, if you can even get to a solution, let alone a workable compromise will dramatically rise.

So be smart, think through the following: If you feel like you are losing, won't you naturally do whatever you think it takes it takes to win? Doesn't that desire to win sometimes become irrational? Doesn't it sometime lead to poor choices?

If that is how it is for most people, why then would it be any different for Mom? Add to the mix the fact that women are allowed to wear their heart on their sleeves and get away with a great deal more then men, simply because that's the difference between how we raise girls and boys:

For example:

Daddy says to daughter after she falls off her bike and scrapes her knee and she's crying really hard: "There, there, don't cry - Daddy's here…"

Versus:

Daddy says to son after he falls off her bike and scrapes her knee and she's crying really hard: "Big Boys don't cry; take it like a man" and then tossles his son's hair.

We don't live in a fair world. When you realize that you have an accurate map that helps you to apply the benefits of Cost Benefit Analysis.

The name of the game is flexibility: The price of peace is always cheaper than the price of war in every way. The cost is not only how much you will pay your lawyer.

Think about it….

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

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