The following is not legal advice

The quickest way to learn a new skill is to find a mentor or “father figure” who can show you the ropes and put you on the path to the shortcut.
 
Mentors and father figures are everywhere and, you know, having a mentor and a father figure help you out while you're going through a really difficult time when you are mad during divorce can one of the most helpful things that you can do for yourself. 
 
Men don't really have the same sort of support network set up that women do.  Women can easily sit around in the kitchen table and help each other out. Men however won't even stick their head out of the car to ask for directions.
 
It's really important to have a coach, somebody to help you through this process. Get a coach during divorce. 

During divorce, custody, access, and child support matters, divorced dads often don’t realize, that there are two elements to every separation and/or divorce. Even when you are returning to Family Court to re-visit, modify and terminate a Court order.

These elements are:

1) The Family / Educational Problems that Family Court can't solve…

2) The Legal Problems that Family Court will attempt to solve…

The best way to understand and appreciate how this podcast can help can help you and how our other services are organized is by way of an example:

If you were a professional athlete, you'd have a coach and a manager. Your coach would address educational and performance issues and your manager would address business issues.

Fathers Resources services follow the exact same model:

1) Separation & Divorce Management Counseling / Coaching - Provided per our Client Services Fee Agreement. These services address educational and performance issues.

2) Legal Services & Representation  - Provided by, and supervised by Lawyers to address your legal problems.

You have come to us to learn the ideas, insights and strategies of successful divorced dads. It is no secret that divorced dads have a really hard time in Family Court. However, for many years we've worked with these fathers, teaching them methods of approaching their problems. By integrating these services and methods, these divorced dads, "optimized"  their approach for the best chance for success.

Family Law problems often cost a lot of money. You will want to know how to best manage costs by understanding what has worked for fathers and what has worked against them. You will want to understand how to best work with your lawyer, and how Family Court operates. This approach "optimizes" your chances for success.

While no one can guarantee an outcome at Family Court, I can confidently say that the father who applies what we teach stands a far better chance than the one who is uneducated, and knows nothing about working with Lawyers and the Family Court.

Education = Knowledge = Power…

This approach is also based upon the same model of self-education and community resources that women used in the 1970's to educate themselves to begin solving their problems in Family Court. The approach women took 35 years ago created an entire industry to service their needs. Consequently, women do not face many of the problems men face, when it comes to finding help geared to their needs.

Men face HUGE challenges finding such help - For example,we found that out from first hand experience many years ago as a divorced dad and step-mom. We could not find help, so together, we decided to create these unique services that can refer lawyer and other professionals specifically geared to addressing men's needs.

Next, we began researching what worked for men in these situations. What were the methods, tactics, strategies, approaches and ideas that actually work. What we found was this: Kids want peace in their family. And so does Family Court. However dads seemed to be unable to properly address, explain and voice how their plan made peace for their children, while their ex-wives plan did not really address that concern of children.

Being adult children of divorce this made ABSOLUTE sense to both of us. It spoke to our hearts…

More often than not, mom's plan is to do anything necessary to get rid of Dad. Not always - there are lots of great mom's out there who don't act that way. But the dads I see, it is usually their major problem.

And there is a way to better address these issues: With us you will learn the immense value in defusing situations by learning how to "WAGE PEACE" inside and outside Family Court. You will hear me in talk about this strategy again and again in our support group meetings and in our audios.

When you take it to heart, you will begin to see the situation shift. It may take time, depending on how bad the problems are. But those dads who use this approach more often see results. Few cases are so extreme that nothing works. But there are a few - thankfully they are in the minority.

The following will better help you to understand the enormous value of integrating this approach into your situation.

The emotional state you and your former wife are in; the way you and your former wife see things as a result of your emotional state; your verbal and written communication and negotiation skills, the choices you make, how you react to each others way of seeing things, communication style, and values.

Depending on where you are at there are possible family dynamics problems, personal performance problems and/or problems when it comes to the reasonable application of problem solving skills.

As your Separation / Divorce Management Performance Coaches, we act as a sounding board for your ideas, making helpful suggestions to improve your outcome by teaching you how to use your intimate knowledge of how your ex-wife views the world, in order to create helpful tactics and strategies that "wage peace" as opposed to war over your children.

We’re very insistent that client's act from an educated and enlightened perspective, not an angry one. We've developed a "separation and divorce management system that we call Divorce 101 which will help you see things with a fresh set of eyes.

The philosophy and process of Divorce 101 will give you the ways and means to deal with the natural anger you feel over injustice, and give you specific strategies that have helped countless fathers to succeed in their matters, by dealing with their issues, and seeing the situation from a child's perspective.

Go download the special report called Divorce 101 to help introduce you to these concepts. Take some time to review this document and ask yourself how you can apply what you've learned. Feel free to ask us your questions at any time at http://www.DivorcedDadWeekly.com

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

The following is not legal advice

Sometimes it feels like fathers have no rights whatsoever: Ever get the feeling as a divorced dad that you are spinning your wheels in Family Court? Do you feel like you are losing ground, things are getting worse instead of better? Sometimes a case loses momentum, traction and acceleration.

Perhaps it is time to ask yourself - When is the last time I have sat down to do a Cost Benefit Analysis? How much pain, for how much gain?

When it comes to custody, access and/or child support issues have you achieved everything possible this go-round in Family Court?

Sometimes a case has a limited shelf-life. Sometimes it is time to stop. Sometimes that is the very best move to make, because all the problems and weaknesses in your case that happen before a Court order is granted go away after a final order. That’s because Judge’s don’t look behind orders, they go forward from them.

However sometimes it is time to ADJUST. To do things differently.

The point is this: When it's really not going well, stop everything and reassess: Whether it be you're having a hard time finding your lawyer or you're having a hard time with a particular judge or you're having a hard time in your negotiation, what do you think you ought to do? First of all, stop everything. Reassess things.  Also, you've got to continue to believe that there is a solution.  Start thinking positively.

Attitude is 99% of what wins and loses a case for divorced dads. The cases that have the most successful outcomes for the divorced dads we’ve worked with, in every single one, ATTITUDE has been the one thing that has made all the difference in the world in turning a losing case into a winning one.

THEREFORE - Don't reinvent the wheel. Do what works, lose what doesn't. That is the “golden rule” of success when you are a divorced dad.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

The following is not legal advice

When all else fails, it becomes necessary to take the only step left:

STEP #7: Litigation - The absolute last resort. If you have taken the time to methodically work through these steps properly, you can establish that you have the skills and the willingness to work things out.

Sometimes, it will be the most effective step. But you MUST not simply skip over the other steps. By objectively working your way through the steps that seem most appropriate, you will enhance the prospect of reaching this goal:

Winning = Peace for Your Child. That’s the power of “WAGING PEACE” over children instead of WAR…becoming a super effective advocate, focused solely on the ULTIMATE BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILD

We’ve been often asked the question: “Why should you wage peace?  Aren't we there to wage war and really like rip the other person a new one?”

Absolutely NOT. That’s what destroys a child’s heart, mind and soul - Being caught in the middle of adult conflict. You’ve got to remember.  Children love mom and dad and when you're in the courtroom, warring against each other, you're actually ripping your child apart.

Children cope to the degree that their parents cope. And if both parents cope badly, children begin to EMULATE and IMMITATE that which they see their two primary role models present as “normal”, socially responsible behaviour. Children will either assume that this is the sensible way to behave, when in fact it only provokes and inflames matters.
 
The cardinal rule here is this: You are the adult. You had a childhood. It is now your kid’s turn to be a child. it's no longer about you. 

It's all about your kid - Show them your best qualities, even when it’s hard to do so.
 
Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

The following is not legal advice

Enrichment is the next step of Divorce 101:

STEP #6: Enrichment - Consult a child psychologist. They can assist with parenting enrichment & a parenting plan. This will heal your child from the impact of the divorce by understanding, appreciating and learning how you can best meet your child's developmental needs.

Don't you think that's important?
 
Children go through the “death of their family” and they have very little understanding of what's going on and they need your support even more.  Remember, this is the death of their family as they've known it. And a child psychologist can help you understand where your child is out with that.
 
Parenting enrichment equals a healthier child during divorce. Why? Because you are looking at what is happening with your child from a developmental perspective. For example, if Dad was the baseball coach, and used to do the math homework and read to his child at bedtime, certain physiological and cognitive skills are being stimulated.

This stimulation in turn produces growth in an attribute / skill within the developing child. For example throwing a baseball utilizes hand to eye co-ordination skills, gross motor skills, fine motor skills to name a few. mathematics engages analytical and logical brain functioning. Listening and engagement during reading develops cognitive and articulation functioning.

If Mom isn’t doing these things, then there is a deficit for the child, which will reflect itself in terms of educational reports, the mood of the child who is missing the companionship during bedtime routines, and the camaraderie between father and son in the setting of a baseball team the son belongs to which the father coaches.

Child development is measurable by a developmental psychologist, who can help with the development of an appropriate parenting  plan.

It’s a simple strategy, but absolutely effective in producing child centered evidence on what is best for a child based on the child’s personality and history, in particular the relationships and attachments formed by the child between his two parents.

So if you are stuck and your child is hurting, consider parental enrichment as a means to find the elusive solution to difficult Family Court problems.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

The following is not legal advice

Mediation is the next step of Divorce 101:

STEP #5: Mediation - A professional mediator can help when the lines of communication break down. Mediators are trained in conflict resolution. It's always a good idea to have an intermediary when there are difficulties in reaching compromises. Plus it is a concrete demonstartion / evidence of the willingness to negotiate.

Mediation as a Divorce 101 strategy is extending an "olive branch of peace".

There are two types of mediation, which normally are agreed in advance through a mediation contract that spells outthe terms of the mediation and the subject matter:

1) Open Mediation - A report can issue from this form of mediation and can be used in Court as evidence.

2) Closed Mediation - No report can issue from this form of mediation or be used in Court as evidence.

There are several differing forms of mediation within these two groups:

- Regular mediation: The most common form when two parties meet with a mediator both together and separately to come to a compromise

- Shuttle mediation: When the parties cannot face each other, sometimes a mediator will conduct a negotiation with the parties in separate rooms. The two parties also can meet with a mediator separately to come to a compromise.  

- Therapeutic Mediation is the combination of conflict resolution with an exploration of the root causes of disagreements from a therapeutic perspective. Again, the two parties meet with a mediator both together and separately to come to a compromise. However, they don’t meet together with the mediator to do therapy unless that’s agreed upon in advance.

Mediation can produce an interim agreement in principle. It is then reviewed by both parties lawyers who render legal advice prior to execution.

Alternately, a divorced dad can use mediation as a “Cornering Strategy” when dealing with a difficult or stubborn ex-wife who either refuses to negotiate or always changes the terms of any deal that is brokered between themselves or with the help of lawyers.

A "cornering strategy” is defined as a tactic designed to demonstrate the objective truth. It is then up to the Family Court Judge to assign weight to that evidence as to its relevance, what does it actually demonstrate, how reliable  it actually is, then to draw inferences and conclusions if possible, either positive or negative from that part of the evidence.

Most divorced dads give up the idea of using mediation when Mom won't participate. You however have a better game plan: As an alternative, you'll attend sessions by yourself, to improve and learn new communication skills from a mediator. When mediation is used in this manner it is a "cornering strategy” designed to demonstrate who is focused on making things better through example, and who is focused on waging war, even when they do so in a passive aggressive manner.

In order to do this, you’d need a mediator to agree that they’d be willing to meet with you. Understandably, in the future, you could not use this mediator, as there might be a perception of bias.

In this scenario, a mediator might possibly report that Mom did not and/or refused to attend, that you did, and that you worked together on improving your communication skills in order to assist in your negotiations. However, no report of this kind can draw definite conclusions on why Mom did not and/or refused to attend, unless she so indicated her reasons.

In the final analysis, mediation is a tool which can be very helpful. Even if you must think outside of the box to utilize and unlock it’s potential to resolve your Family Law matter.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

The following is not legal advice

Let's examine the next step of Divorce 101:

STEP #4: Negotiation - Most people rely on 1 or 2 negotiating strategies. Study, learn and apply the skills required to negotiate. Increase your options and you are closer to a creative win/win solution.

Most people rely on one or two negotiating strategies to persuade others to see things their way. Rarely will having only one or two negotiating options work in your favour. Especially if the person you are negotiating with has more options.  You need to study, learn and apply new skills to become a better negotiator. Go to a bookstore and you can find all kinds of books on negotiation.

Our recommendation: The Harvard Negotiating Project has a series of books. “Getting to Yes” by Roger Fisher, William Ury, Bruce Patton is your best option in our opinion, to begin your educational process when it comes to becoming a better negotiator.

Communication really is the key component to any negotiation strategy and as you can see, these steps in Divorce 101 all begin to build on one another. When you increase your options, you're much closer to a creative win-win solution. Plus if you go into Family Court out of true necessity, you will have a far better appreciation of the subtleties of negotiation with your ex-wife’s lawyer and even the Judge when in the midst of a hearing about an issue for temporary and/or final orders.

Negotiation is one of the primary tools Family Court Judge’s expect both Mom and Dad to engage in to resolve a problem. When one person becomes totally inflexible, that often, (but not always) tells the Family Court Judge who the real problem is. To avoid that sort of label you want to learn how to “Think Before You Speak”.

Roy J. Lewicki, Alexander Hiam and Karen Wise Olander’s “Think Before You Speak”: A Complete Guide to Strategic Negotiation,  is the second book we’d recommend. On the back cover of the hard cover, there’s a great chart which summarizes the negotiating process and what each step consists of:

STEP 1: Analyze Strategic Issues: Overview/Plan; Assess your position and the other party; Analyze the Context the Situation is Taking Place In

STEP 2: Select A Strategy…

STEP 3: Initiate The Negotiation Process: Competition; Collaboration; Other Strategies

STEP 4: Manage The Negotiation Process: Building Collaboration; Resolving Conflict; Third Party Help To Resolve Conflict; Communicating; Legal Ethical Issues; Dealing With Multiple Parties in Negotiations; Global Negotiation

STEP 5: Obtain Outcomes And Learn From The Experience: Improving Negotiation

These five steps are the distilled into…

===> The Twelve Rules of Strategic Negotiation <===

RULE 1:     Wait! Take it slow. Take time to plan before you act.

RULE 2:     Define your bargaining range, and what you’ll accept in the worst case scenario.

RULE 3:     Define your interests: What do you want, what do you need and why?

RULE 4:     Pursue and protect your needs, not your position.

RULE 5:     Follow the eight steps of negotiation planning in Chapter One.

RULE 6:     THE OTHER PARTY holds the key to success.

RULE 7:     POWER gives you leverage over BOTH the outcome and the relationship.

RULE 9:     Don’t compete unless you are prepared to…LOSE

RULE 10:    Reciprocate “unfairly”…

RULE 11:    TRUST is easier to destroy than it is to build.

RULE 12:    INVEST in negotiations WISELY.

Resources such as these two books are an investment in time well spent to learn the skills necessary to de-escalate situations before they get out of control. They are also an investment for when they do get out of control and land in Family Court: You NEVER want a Family Court Judge thinking you are the problem. Therefore, invest time in learning how to become a better negotiator to reduce legal fees, and to re-position yourself within your facts as the problem solver, not as the troublemaker…

To avoid that sort of label you need to set aside some time for these two books. Don’t expect miracles at first; You simply need to put in some time to learn how to see things differently then you have been raised to since childhood, because “Getting To Yes” from your ex-wife often means you need to learn how to “Think Before You Speak”. As we move through the tips in Divorced Dad Minute, you’ll begin to see that with greater clarity.

The payoff from investing in this approach is less stress because you now have begun the process of divorce management through education. A less stressed parent, is a better parent. One that kids can relate to in an easier way. Making your children feel more at ease is a HUGE part of your strategy when “waging peace”. \

And isn’t that what it’s all about?

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

The following is not legal advice

The next step of Divorce 101 is:

STEP #3: Education - Believe solutions exist and you will begin to see them. Books, tapes, professionals, support groups, self-help resources provide ideas. Without ideas, the process grinds to a halt.

Here’s a short story to contemplate:

Many years ago, In Halifax, Nova Scotia, we were at a conference for issues pertaining to shared parenting. We’d never been to Halifax before. After settling in and grabbing some dinner, we went to a local downtown bookstore in search of books that we might not have seen elsewhere. It’s something we do when we travel, keep our eyes and ears open for new solutions to the problems and challenges we ourselves face in different areas of our life, and in areas that our clients find challenging.

Within 90 seconds we found a book call “Co-Parenting” by Miriam Galper, so of course we purchased it.

The next day Danny was scheduled to speak. He opened his talk with this example:

“I have never been to Halifax before. It’s a very beautiful city. Upon my arrival I settled in, had dinner, and as is my custom in new places, I go to local bookstores, seeking solutions to the problems and challenges we ourselves face and that our clients face. When I found this book “Co-Parenting” by Miriam Galper. It’s full of many solutions to some of the challenges you are facing that brought you to this conference today. If I can find this book, full of solutions in your town, after only being here for 2-3 hours, imagine what you could find. After all, you live here…”

Think about it - open your eyes and begin believing that there is a solution to your problems. Then go out and begin expecting to find those solutions. It is in creating such a world view and approach to your challenges (notice we’re using the word challenges instead of the word problems…), that solutions are born…

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

The following is not legal advice

Let's examine the next step of Divorce 101:

STEP #2: Communication - Learn to apply these skills: Regulation of self-talk, Reframing of how you see and describe a situation to yourself and others, Persuasion and Influence. These skills enable proper comprehension and articulation of the problems. This always leads many creative solutions.

You need to learn to apply these skills, regulation of self-talk, meaning the way that you talk to yourself; reframing, when you're thinking negatively, reframe the situation into something positive.  The powers of persuasion and influence will be skills that go a long way to helping you in family court in your negotiations.

These are really important steps to learn and skills to master. The place to begin is to accept that the how you communicate to yourself and others has a HUGE impact on your outcome. By taking responsibility for the impact of your communication on yourself and others, you can literally turn a situation around through reframing and repositioning yourself into best position possible circumstances within the set of facts that make up your Family Court case.

First begin with the little voice in your head. If you’re prone to accentuating the negative in any situation, then you need to train and condition your mind “to seeing the glass as half full, instead of seeing the glass as half empty…”. The manner in which you describe the world to yourself affects how you see the world, and how you interact with it. Being negative, contrary, argumentative or communicating in any manner that others don’t want to listen to is your “wake up call” to examine how you describe and see the world to yourself.

So first focus on the voice inside your head. Begin a process of reconditioning the way you talk and communicate internally. If you’re having difficulty, then apply Step One - Invigoration to “break the circuit” of negativity in your self-talk. Remember, physiology will affect your feelings and your feelings will affect your communication, especially how you see and describe things to yourself.

The next stage is to examine the impact of how you communicate to others. You need to develop a burning desire to master the principles of human relations, and apply those principles at every opportunity. Make it into a game and try to catch yourself violating those principles.  ThTake responsibility for the impact of your words. Pick up at your local bookstore the book:

"How to Win Friends, and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. It's available as a paperback book just about anywhere books are sold.

This book is one of the biggest selling books of ALL time. You don't even need to read it cover to cover, BUT we suggest you do, To get the most immediate impact, read the summaries at the end of each chapter. That's about 8 very short pages. This book will teach you the following four areas of “communication mastery”:

PART 1: The Three Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

PART 2: The Six Ways To Make People Like You

PART 3: The Twelve Strategies How to Win People To Your Way of Thinking

PART 4: The Nine Principles of How To Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

In total there are 30 Dale Carnegie Communication Principles divided over these four parts of his book. When you have a communication problem review these 8 summarized pages of principles, and then dig into the specifics that you think may be the root of the problem from the perspective of what you are communicating.

You can’t change how people see you and think about you without first changing yourself. Step 2 - Divorce 101: Communication is the method to access the tool you need to get the job done right the first time, instead of resorting to blaming someone else for all your problems.

The mastery of communication skills, as taught in the Dale Carnegie Book: "How to Win Friends, and Influence People" leads to better creative solutions for divorced dads. Taking the principles in this book to heart is one of the most fundamental and powerful strategies when “waging peace” in Family Court.
 
Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

The following is not legal advice

Let's examine the next step of Divorce 101:

STEP #1: Invigoration - The death of one's family brings about 4 stages: Denial, Anger, Grieving and Acceptance. Vigorous physical activity helps
lower stress. This supports problem solving which leads to Acceptance.

This step is the foundation to all others: How you feel (physiology) affects how you think (psychology), and how you think affects how you feel.

Lets take a deeper look at this: Your "physiology" affects your "psychology" and vice versa. Here's an example - You just got the dream job, or won the lottery, or maybe won the day in Family Court, your body language will be consistent with those results.  Others will see a very happy fellow…

Conversely if you just lost the dream job, lost your life's savings and got your backside kicked in Family Court, you'll likely be feeling pretty low down and depressed, and your body language will be consistent with those thoughts of depression.

Invigoration is an attempt to override how you feel by putting yourself into a "peak mental state". It's a management tool to modify behaviour. In the context we are suggestion invigoration is physical activity designed to help lower your stress and support. problem-solving.

This approach eventually leads you to the acceptance of your problem and to finding and applying the ultimate best solution that focuses on what's best for the children.
 
So here's the next equation:

Invigoration = Stress Management.

Why?

Invigoration comes about through some form of  vigorous exercise, such as a very brisk walk, jogging, swimming 50 laps in the pool, weight lifting or anything else that makes you break a sweat. This activity leads to stress reduction.

Stress reduction from invigoration will always begin to promote clear thinking during divorce. Therefore now you have a "Stress Management" system which forms the foundation of  "Divorce Management Plan".

After all you can't properly strategize and plan under stress unless you have a way to manage and dissipate it. So every divorced dad needs to consider this first step, in order to regain clarity and objectivity during the stress of the Family Court Process.

Remember, kids cope to the degree that parents cope during divorce. Now you have a better management system for your kids to emulate when things get rough during divorce.

Plus it's something you can actually do together to feel good that's healthy and fun. So when either you or your kids get depressed over the situation, you now have the tool to begin to fix the problem.

You might be surprised how this also opens up the communication between you and your kids. And that's the next step we'll be dealing with in Divorce 101: Communication.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

The following is not legal advice

Today, we're introducing the steps to Divorce 101.  This is an overview of seven steps to divorce healing. For the next several installments, we're going to be going through each and every one of these steps in more detail.  These are the fundamentals of your divorce management plan.

STEP #1: Invigoration - The death of one's family brings about 4 stages: Denial, Anger, Grieving and Acceptance. Vigorous physical activity helps lower stress. This supports problem solving which leads to Acceptance.

STEP #2: Communication - Learn to apply these skills: Regulation of self-talk, Reframing of how you see and describe a situation to yourself and others, Persuasion and Influence. These skills enable proper comprehension
and articulation of the problems. This always leads many creative solutions.

STEP #3: Education - Believe solutions exist and you will begin to see them.  
Books, tapes, professionals, support groups, self-help resources provide ideas. Without ideas, the process grinds to a halt.

STEP #4: Negotiation - Most people rely on 1 or 2 negotiating strategies. Study, learn and apply the skills required to negotiate. Increase your options and you are closer to a creative win/win solution.

STEP #5: Mediation - A professional mediator can help when the lines of communication break down. Mediators are trained in conflict resolution.  This strategy is extending and "olive branch of peace". Most divorced dads give up the idea of using mediation when Mom won't participate. You however have a better game plan: As an alternative, you'll attend sessions by yourself, to improve and learn new communication skills from a mediator. When mediation is used in this manner it is a "cornering" strategy designed to demonstrate who is focused on making things better through example.

STEP #6: Enrichment - Consult a child psychologist. They can assist with parenting enrichment & a parenting plan. This will heal your child from the impact of the divorce by undersatnding, appreciating and learning how you can best meet your child's developmental needs.

STEP #7: Litigation - The  absolute last resort. If you have taken the time to methodically work through these steps properly, you can establish that you have the skills and the willingness to work things out. Sometimes it will be the most effective step, but you MUST not simply skip over the other steps. By objectively working your way through the steps that seem most appropriate, you will enhance the prospect of reaching this goal:

These are the steps to applying this formula successfully:

Winning = Peace For Your Child
 
If you are wanting to dig right in, sign up for our newsletter and receive our special report:

Divorce 101: How to Protect Your Children From The Divorce Industry.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

The following is not legal advice

Divorced dads need to create a game plan: Your divorce management plan is the # 1 thing you can do for yourself in order to have an organized approach that you can manage in a cost effective manner during separation and divorce. You will be able to properly strategize what your next moves will be.

Knowing what your next move takes you out of what we characterize as "The Divorce Fog": When you're going through this process, it can be really hard to think with any clarity. Men can actually have a more difficult time because they don't have the same support systems in place that women do.
 
People are often reactionary at this time - Having a divorce management plan keeps them from being reactionary. Having a divorce management plan keeps you focused in a positive proactive way, especially when things go "off the rails"
 
Divorce 101 can help any divorced dad begin work on a divorce management plan. There are seven steps:

STEP #1: Invigoration

STEP #2: Communication

STEP #3: Education

STEP #4: Negotiation

STEP #5: Mediation

STEP #6: Enrichment

STEP #7: Litigation

These are the steps to applying this formula successfully:

Winning = Peace For Your Child

In the next installment of Divorced Dad Minute we will explore these steps in depth. If however you are wanting to dig right in, sign up for our newsletter and receive our special report:

Divorce 101: How to Protect Your Children From The Divorce Industry.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

The following is not legal advice

Here's the formula for saving money, time and grief in Family Court when you are a divorced dad facing the enormous challenges and obstacles that men face during separation and divorce when things turn nasty:

Winning = Peace for your Child…

That's the perspective you must take to heart if you are to be a successful divorced dad. The equation:

Winning = Win at all costs

means that it is all about you, not the children. And the Family Court Judge will see that instantly. That will cost you a fortune in legal fees, yours and Mom's which the Judge will most likely award against you for being so focused on winning, instead of making it better for the children. There's also the cost of this ongoing fighting and how it affects the children. It affects children in a very negative way. For example, kids want their parents to get along. In fact, they want them to get back together, but if there's a divorce, that's not going to happen.

So, the next best thing then is making peace for your child - Peace for your child means winning for theor family.  It's a priceless gift. When you look at the statistics of what happens to children of divorce, those whose families are at war do poorly in school, learn poor social skills from watching this constant fighting, feel insecure, have poor self esteem.

This translates into young children having more problems as teenagers as they express their anger over their family situation through cutting classes, poor marks at school, juvenile delinquency, using alcohol and drugs, engaging in promiscuity. What these children are really expressing and saying in the only way they know how is:

"Can you hear me now?"

And every time they feel that they are not heard, their acting out becomes more severe. That's because they are still developing as people. They've not yet developed the language skills to articulate how they feel, the specific impacts the behaviour of Mom and Dad being at war is having on them.

Besides, even if they did have those skills, if their is a "culture of war" instead of a "culture of peace" when it comes to their parents methods of communicating on how to raise their children, how safe will these kids feel to actually share their feelings?

Children are neither stupid, blind nor uncaring - They love their parents dearly. When their parents fight at ever turn, this tells a child at some deep level, (whether they can actually express it in these words, or its just a very deep feeling of loss that they are having great difficulty in coming to terms with):  "…you don't love me enough to stop fighting….why don't you love me the way I need you to love me?"

Got it?

Winning = Peace For Your Child

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

The following is not legal advice

Divorced dads in Family Court, have to pick their "battles". This often calls for "soul searching". The place to begin is to ask yourself: "Is this really worth fighting over?". Next ask yourself this question: "How would our children feel about me fighting with their mother?" When you've answered those two questions, you should have a brand new perspective.

Kids don't want their parents fighting over them. That is far different from asking thoughtful questions, inviting Mom to explain why she has taken a certain position, or why she's behaving a certain way. That's not confrontational. Even if Mom sees it as such, it doesn't make it so. And any level-headed person can see that. It's very important that a divorced dad see it that way.

The essence of waging peace when you are a divorced dad is this:

It is not about winning an argument; it's not about winning a certain Court order; it's not about being right and having the satisfaction of triumph. It's about loving your kids and meeting their best interests for peace.

Sort out what the priorities are, find common ground, build from their, because that is what will best serve your children if you need a Family Court Judge to intervene and accept your point of view.

Waging Peace is all about "The Art of Persuasion", which often relies upon how you are positioned. If you rise to the bait of anyone, you ten give away your dignity and power because you have handed control of your reactions to someone else's poor behaviour and choices.

That's not how you hold someone accountable; and in Family Court without the benefit of applying Cost Benefit Analysis, meaning how much is my strategy going to ultimately cost in terms of money, hard feelings, the children's peace of mind in their day-to-day life with Mom, the cost of the solution, if you can even get to a solution, let alone a workable compromise will dramatically rise.

So be smart, think through the following: If you feel like you are losing, won't you naturally do whatever you think it takes it takes to win? Doesn't that desire to win sometimes become irrational? Doesn't it sometime lead to poor choices?

If that is how it is for most people, why then would it be any different for Mom? Add to the mix the fact that women are allowed to wear their heart on their sleeves and get away with a great deal more then men, simply because that's the difference between how we raise girls and boys:

For example:

Daddy says to daughter after she falls off her bike and scrapes her knee and she's crying really hard: "There, there, don't cry - Daddy's here…"

Versus:

Daddy says to son after he falls off her bike and scrapes her knee and she's crying really hard: "Big Boys don't cry; take it like a man" and then tossles his son's hair.

We don't live in a fair world. When you realize that you have an accurate map that helps you to apply the benefits of Cost Benefit Analysis.

The name of the game is flexibility: The price of peace is always cheaper than the price of war in every way. The cost is not only how much you will pay your lawyer.

Think about it….

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts

Divorced dads Family Court during custody, access /  child visitation and child support hearings need to ask themselves a very basic question:

What is custody?

Some divorced dads think custody = time with the children. Not so. That's only one component, and it might not even be the component you "think" you are fighting over. For example, if you make more money then Mom even if you have your child most of the time, you could be paying her some form of child support.

So what is custody?

Generally it is accepted that this is the right that the Family Court grants a parent to decide legal, educational, religious and legal issues for the child.

BUT - Who really has custody of the children?

If divorced dads pondered that for a moment they'd realize a very basic fact:

The state has custody of their children…..

Here's the thing - Most people don't recognize is if the state wants your house for a super highway, they're going to expropriate it.  If they want you to go fight in a war, they're going to conscript you and if you refuse, you're possibly going to military prison.  When it comes to your children, well, guess what?  They are the ones that have the final say.
 
People spend a lot of money fighting over custody without recognizing that very basic fact about the way things are. During custody, access /  child visitation and child support hearings, costs can quickly escalate out of control.

Can you afford that?

Picture the following scenario:

You spend over $70,000.00 fighting for custody as a father and lets say you actually win. Is it over? Not by a long shot….First of all you need to be waging peace not war over your kids.

Secondly, the moment you and the ex-wife disagree over custody issues, where do you think you will be going to resolve it if no agreement is reached?

That's right - Family Court. And guess who will make the decision:

A You - the custodial parent; or

B) The Family Court Judge?

The Family Court Judge always has the LAST say. Even when you win custody.

So, what's the whole point of fighting over custody then? Why did you spend so much money? That's a very good question. One you should be asking yourself before you spend that hard earned money.
 
While its true that having custody confers advantages, it does not grant an absolute and final win. Don't take our word for it, ask those who have won custody if this is the so.

Then go ask as many legal and other professionals, lawyers, or if you have an opportunity any politician willing to answer the question.

What you absolutely want is substantial time to remain an equal influence in your child's life. That can be accomplished with generous specified access orders. It can't be with a vague one with no specified parenting times.

You don't want to spend the farm on custody, unless that is an absolute necessity and your facts support that claim. If your facts are weak because you left your kids with Mom, or have been arrested or removed from the home, you will have a very hard time winning custody.

And maybe you don't need to win custody - what you need is equal parenting time. Maybe it will be a slice by slice operation to get to that equal time share; perhaps you will need to pay full child support to get there - at least for awhile.

Life is not always fair, and sometimes you have to make sacrifices to make gains.

BUT REMEMBER THIS FACT: The Family Court Judge always has the LAST say.

Even when you win custody.

That's the way the law is designed when parents can't agree. Don't look at custody as the "be all" solution for every problem.

It's not.

Sometimes trading "custody" for "expanded access" can be a powerful bargaining chip to expand access to a substantial level. It can also reduce legal costs for everyone if that's no longer on the table for negotiation.

Maybe it's what you need to do today. Maybe it is just for a short time, maybe the next few years, perhaps until the kids are teenagers. All of life is change. Don't presuppose that you are "doomed" to be "non-custodial" forever.

Remember if Mom is acting unreasonably, a Judge can straighten her out and make things right for the kids. And perhaps by trading "custody" for expanded access, all the problems with your case evaporate. Judges don't go behind a Court order, they go forward from it, excepting an appeal.

Perhaps Mom will never obey the Court order, but all your previous problems with your case no longer exist. We are going forward from the new Court order.

So if you are obeying all of the Court order and Mom is not, especially when it comes to access, and she is doing this within days of the order, you likely will have a VERY strong foundation to build from to get enforcement of your access, and if it continues, custody of your children.

But don't run to Family Court with every little disagreement.

NO Family Court will micro-manage your family affairs. Asking a Family Court Judge to do so will only upset them and cost you dearly…

So take a deep breath and find a way to manage matters as best you can OUTSIDE of Family Court whenever possible.  When facing custody, access /  child visitation and child support hearings learn what is a winning argument and what is a losing argument.

Especially when it comes to custody issues such as who will decide legal, educational, religious and legal issues for the child.

Your finances will thank you for it. And you will have the beginnings of a GREAT gameplan. But you will need help….

That's where Divorced Dad Weekly comes in. Every week we have a FREE teteseminar training call.

Let us know about your progress. Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call Divorced Dad Weekly where we go into more depth on these concepts.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

Divorced dads are often losing badly in Family Court during custody, access /  child visitation and child support hearings because they lack good observation skills. They literally don't see it coming…

But the strange things is that those people who are a bit more detached from the situation often do. Unfortunately for such divorced dads one of those people is the Family Court Judge hearing the matter.

Like it or not, the Family Court Judge has the power during custody, access /  child visitation and child support hearings to make decisions that can have HUGE sweeping consequences for children of divorced dads.

The main problem is anger naturally felt by anyone who feels they are being treated unfairly.

The even larger problem is that often the anger while justifiable is misdirected and unhelpful, only serving to compound the problems during divorced dads face during custody, access /  child visitation and child support hearings.

Have you ever met anybody who's got it all wrong, but they're still doing the same thing over and over and over again? Could that person possibly be you? Does it get worse when you go to Family Court?

That's not a god thing at all. The cure is simple though: Develop a good objective sense of the impact your communication style and habits have when you are trying to improve things during custody, access /  child visitation and child support hearings not only inside the Family Court, but outside of it as well.

Bad habits are hard to break. If you're losing, take a step back and look at what's going on. Instead of engaging in "blame games", flip it around and ask yourself what your responsibility is in the problem you are facing.

If the answer is that you "….don't have any responsibility, it's all her fault…." that's the problem. You are not acknowledging that you picked this person to have a relationship with.

What does that say about you?

When you can honestly answer that question you are 50% of the way to your solution. Allow us to suggest how to get the other 50% of that solution to improving things during custody, access /  child visitation and child support hearings not only inside the Family Court, but outside of it as well:

Improve your communication skills that will provide next 25% of your solution. Take responsibility for the impact of your words. Pick up at your local bookstore the book:

"How to Win Friends, and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. It's available as a paperback book just about anywhere books are sold.

This book is one of the biggest selling books of ALL time. You don't even need to read it cover to cover, BUT we suggest you do, To get the most immediate impact, read the summaries at the end of each chapter. That's about 20 very short pages.

Isn't that easy? Ready for the final 25%?

Take responsibility for the impact of your deeds. People are not what they say, they are what they do. What they say is the oil to grease the wheels of interaction and discourse with others.

Did you notice that we did not say actions? Deeds are what you do when you go the extra mile in your actions with others. What we do also provides "the grease" in our interactions with others.

When your words and deeds match each other, your behaviour is congruent. That "congruency" makes your words equal your deeds and your deeds equal your words. They support each other and the natural result is "enhanced credibility".

Credibility is 'the coin of the realm" in Family Court. Without you will not be heard.  If you are not heard, you won't be believed. If you are seen as untruthful, you will lose.

Here is the "acid test": Look at your words and deeds through the eyes of your child. Would your child be bursting with pride or would they be:

Confused? Ashamed? Scared?

You now have a context, a set of guidelines in which to measure yourself and set a high standard of conduct. REMEMBER: That which can be measured can be improved.

When you're losing badly, perhaps your behaviour is the problem. Perhaps it does not measure up, Perhaps you are holding your ex-wife to a high standard but not going that extra mile yourself.

In all Courts there is a way of seeing things called "the clean hands doctrine". It goes like this:

"One who seeks justice, must give justice with clean hands…"

If your situation does not measure up, it's time to change up your game plan.  Losing badly during custody, access /  child visitation and child support hearings not only inside the Family Court, but outside of it as well:

It's time to modify your approach and get a new game plan. Incorporating the above thinking is the place for you to start.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

That's where Divorced Dad Weekly comes in. Every week we have a FREE teteseminar training call.

Let us know about your progress. Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call Divorced Dad Weekly where we go into more depth on these concepts.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

Divorced dads in Family Court face many problems,  challenges and obstacles with custody, access /  child visitation and child support issues. Well developed strategy and planning skills are absolutely necessary to succeed. You must first learn to master the fundamentals in anything you wish to succeed at.

Think of sports, like baseball. You must master the fundamentals of throwing, catching, hitting, running the bases and understanding where the play is going next. For example the first priority is to stop the opposing team at bat from scoring a run, So if there is a man on third base when the ball is hit, the play is going to home plate.  That's where the ball must be thrown the moment it is caught in order to prevent a run from being scored.

Next is keeping the opposing teams from advancing runners on the bases. So if there is a man on second base, you want to stop him from getting to third base. Alternately if there are two outs in the inning, perhaps the play is simply to first base to get the necessary third out to end that part of the inning for the opposing team.

These are baseball fundamentals.

Family Court works the exact same way. It's just the fundamentals are different. The first fundamental in Family Court is this:

"DON'T REINVENT THE WHEEL - DO WHAT WORKS, LOSE WHAT DOESN'T.

Half the problem for a lot of people is they think they got to make it up as they go along in Family Court.  They think that their case is so unique and so original that there is nothing that they could learn from cases that have gone before them. That's a HUGE mistake.

Look for success - it leaves clues.  Look for models of success and then apply that success to your situation. Find successful divorced dads, find winning lawyers for divorced dads - Model that success. Your second move - VISIT YOUR LOCAL FAMILY COURT OFTEN. Watch, observe, learn.

Don't reinvent the wheel. Model success. Find those models of success in your local Family Court house. You will be amazed at how things begin changing when you apply these two fundamental approaches to your custody, access /  child visitation and child support issues in Family Court. You will be at learning how to plan, prioritize and strategize your way to success, based on a model of success, instead of floundering badly, wondering why you are losing, but not knowing how to change the situation.

You now have the beginnings of a game plan. But no game plan can win for you and your children if you don't implement and execute what you are learning. You'll also need help along the way.

That's where Divorced Dad Weekly comes in. Every week we have a FREE teteseminar training call.

Let us know about your progress. Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call Divorced Dad Weekly where we go into more depth on these concepts.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

How do your Reach your Goals In Family Court? The answer is simple: Mentoring: Find a Successful Divorced Dads in Family Court. So what is mentoring?

Mentoring is the secret that always leads to success. Divorced dads with custody, access / child visitation, and child support issues need every advantage they can find when facing Family Court difficulties.

If you want to learn the shortcuts, stay on track and not reinvent the wheel finding a mentor is the quickest route to success. The best and easiest place to find such fathers is Family Court. You will see three general groups of divorced dads who face custody, access / child visitation, and child support issues.

Group One: Those who are losing. You can learn a lot by watching this group. Don't do what they are doing! Anything you do, that resembles what they do, STOP IT NOW. While it is easy to sympathize with these divorced dads, it is deadly to emulate them. Unless of course you don't care about the results you will get in Family Court.

Group Two: The Struggling Majority - Those who are struggling in Family Court with custody, access / child visitation, and child support issues. Again, it is deadly to emulate them. Unless of course you don't care about the results you will get in Family Court. Watch what works for this group and only apply those consistently proven strategies that you've seen work before a particular Family Court Judge consistently.

Group Three: Consistent Winners. You will have to spend considerable time in Family Court to find these divorced dads, but when you do you should be thinking "Eureka! My many hours of effort have finally paid off. I have finally found the vein of gold!" These divorced dads are very difficult to find because they only represent about 5-10% of all divorced dads.

But the good news is those numbers are climbing. In Canada that number is around 19%. Those are your odds of finding a successful divorced dad in your local Family Court. And the odds are those numbers are similar worldwide. That number represents the number of divorced dads heading a single family home in Canada.

And guess what? Most of them are doing so with a Family Court order.

So now you have the beginnings of a divorce management plan, based upon a model of proven success. Follow the trail now to find the good lawyers, custody assessors, social workers and other legal/social work/psychological professionals you may need on your team when you face custody, access / child visitation, and child support issues in Family Court.

Remember: Every successful person can benefit from mentoring.  Find successful dads in family court and make distinctions between fathers.  You can find a successful father, but is he successful in the thing that you are looking to do? That's what you are looking for.

For example,  maybe you've got a child support issue or an access or visitation issue, you need to find somebody who's got that kind of success. If you go and you're looking for successful dads and you just go find one who is successful in child support, but you've got a custody and access issue, it's not going to work that way.

Find a divorced dad who's having success in the same area you want to be successful in at Family Court. Concentrate your search efforts to find what you're looking for. Find a divorced dad who's solved the same exact problem you have. You will have found the trail to everything else you'll need.

Plus you won't be losing or struggling anymore, because you are not reinventing the wheel. You are following in the footsteps of successful divorced dads, adapting what they teach you through perseverance, observing and measuring your results. You will be amazed at how things begin changing when you apply this approach to your Family Court matter.

Let us know about your progress. Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call Divorced Dad Weekly where we go into more depth on these concepts.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

So, how do you reach your goals if you are a divorced dad in Family Court?  Go to the source - Family Court. Watch, observe and learn. Find a successful father using this method. It will take time, but if you persist, you will find that model of success, and most likely find the right lawyer a lot sooner.  If you want to learn how to do anything in life, you need to find yourself someone who's already done it.  Don't you agree?

You need a mentor. A divorced dad who is already winning his case; to learn what is working for him, who his lawyer is, how he is preparing, what he is studying, and how he rehearses for success. You absolutely need to go into Family Court NOW and watch what's going on. Success just doesn't turn up: IT IS CREATED step by step, by following the paln that has worked for others. The proven system will always beat the one you make up as you go along.

Don't "wing it" in Family Court, unless you want to lose BIG TIME.

GO NOW and FIND that father who's winning in Family Court - Then go take him out for a coffee and see what he has to say. Better yet buy him dinner, befriend him, pick his brain and implement what he's doing. Don't bother trying to reinvent the wheel, do what works for other divorced dads, find the right metor, coach, guide, information, lawyer, strategies, tactics, negotiation and communication skills. Observe how Family Court Judges decide things.

These actions are amongst the most powerful strategies in any of life's most difficult situations. This ACTION PLAN always lead to positive solutions. It's work, and takes some time. But it is always worth it in the end.

REMEMBER You can moan and groan about how unfair it is and do the same things again and again that put you in a miserable psoition, or you can try something that has been proven to work for successful people from all walks of life. Ask yourself this: When you look back in 20 years from today, how did it all work out for you? What do you dream of? How did you do it?

My bet is it worked out just GREAT.

Not perfect, but GREAT, because you took the time to read this entry in Divorced Dad Minute, AND more importantly, you made time to think about, design and implement a divorce management plan that incorporated the skills you are learning here today.

Let us know how its working out by joining us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call Divorced Dad Weekly where we go into more depth on these concepts.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

What's your budget for Family Court? 

Most divorced dads never think this part of their situation through, because far too often they are not ahead of the curve, anticipating a letter from their wife's lawyer, or being served Court Documents with short notice affecting a fathers rights and future obligations upon separation and divorce. Without a realistic sense of what one is getting into, once a matter proceeds to Family Court on  Custody, Access, and Child Support issues, a divorced dad can find himself facing a severe cash flow problem.

That's because many divorced dads who have a Family Court matter have completely unrealistic expectations when it comes down to estimating what it will cost to litigate Custody, Access, and Child Support  disputes. They don't understand that initially getting in there can be $5000.00 to $6000.00  If you go into trial, you could be looking at five figures and in the mid-five figures. Most families really can't afford it. Some statistics demonstrate the reality is this:

50-85% of people going through Family Court end up going there without a lawyer. Often that's because many people have all of their cash tied up in an asset like a home. And that can be extremely dangerous. When your wife attends at her lawyer's office, and signs a direction to seek orders to have the home put up for sale; that  the proceeds of a home will go into trust; and that the lawyer gets paid first and foremost before the remaining equity in the home, the funds from your wife's half of the proceeds of sale of the home are released, she now has a war chest.

And guess what? Unless she has a very ethical lawyer, who is reporting regularly on what's being spent on her behalf during Family Court either:

(a) If she wins and you lose, it will likely come out of the remaining equity in the home, the funds from your half of the proceeds of sale of the home are released to you…can you say OUCH?

(b) If she loses and was expecting a cheque for say $50,000.00, but gets one for $2000.00 -Who do you think she will blame? And how will that affect your futureCustody, Access, and Child Support issues?

So you've got to really take stock and analyze the situation before it gets really nasty and completely out of control, or be prepared to lose everything the two of you have worked so hard to acquire in the first place. The key strategy if you have a small budget is to recognize that anger will cost you a fortune.

Anger always equals a huge legal bill when you go to Family Court. Recognizing that is the first step to reducing the financial cost of separation and divorce. Furthermore, and as is important is knowing that there are many other costs: Your health, sense of well-being, future relationship with the mother of your children, emotional exhaustion, how the children are affected by disputes over Custody, Access, and Child Support issues.

However, there is hope: By taking a proactive stance, educating and keeping oneself vigilant and ready for success, you can exercise a degree of control over the outcome. Separation, divorce, Custody, Access, and Child Support issues don't have to be rather than be nearly as bad and acrimonious as described above.

If you feel your impending or ongoing separation and divorce are spiraling out of control, like an impending "train wreck". apply Divorce the 101 step that seems most appropriate to bring matters under some semblance of order. An educated approach will always be far more cost effective in the long run than either acting or reacting on an emotional basis to your situation, be it self-created or imposed upon you by an angry soon to be ex-partner and/or wife.

You will always be Dad and she will always be Mom from your child's point of view. Try your best to always keep focused on that as the most important fact to prove in Family Court.

Let us know how its working out by joining us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call Divorced Dad Weekly where we go into more depth on these concepts.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Let us know how its working out by joining us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call Divorced Dad Weekly where we go into more depth on these concepts.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Focusing on fathers rights instead of your child's rights is not the way to succeed or improve child access, visitation, and custody matters before the Family Court.

In Family Court, Judges only care about what's best for your child. That's what the law dictates a Judge consider.

To begin with, focus on the end result. Keep in mind, that first you must define and then clarify your most realistic Family Court goals. When it comes to custody, access and child support you need to have a realistic appreciation for where you are positioned, based on what the law says and the current interpretation of those laws.

Next, keep in mind the adage: "…that what you focus on is the thing that most likely will begin to manifest itself…"

For example, we often have told the story of a fellow who lost control of his car while traveling on a country road. He focused on the fact that he believed he would hit a telephone pole. Because he was focused on the telephone pole, that's exactly where he aimed his car.

Despite the fact that the telephone poles were almost a 1/4 mile apart in distance. Get the point? He should have focused on the gap between the poles…

Self Improvement Guru Anthony Robbins tells a story about taking a racing car driving course known as skid school where the very same principle is taught. Student Drivers are sent into the racetrack with an experienced instructor, who can with the touch of a button send a racing car into a skid.

The student must then react quickly, or face certain death by hitting the retaining wall of the race track. When the instructor puts the car into the skid, invariably the student driver gets locked into focusing on hitting the wall.

The instructor yanks the student's head to focus them on the road ahead in order to pull out of the skid and not hit the wall. This process is repeated until the student driver naturally knows what to do every time the car goes into a skid.

Bam…car goes into a skid…
The race car driving instructor yanks student's head…
The student's gaze is now upon where to steer the racing car
And the car comes out of the skid….

Bam…car goes into a skid…
The race car driving instructor yanks student's head…
The student's gaze is now upon where to steer the racing car
And the car comes out of the skid….

Bam…car goes into a skid…
The race car driving instructor yanks student's head…
The student's gaze is now upon where to steer the racing car
And the car comes out of the skid…

Repetition is the mother of all skill - Changing a natural reaction takes a lot of patient practice and rehearsal. Training your natural reflexes to do what you want them to do, instead of your natural inclination to succumb to fear by freezing up under pressure takes time.

But it can be done.

Operating in a hostile environment such as Family Court can be a terrifying experience if you go there unprepared. However if you think things through, plan, test, observe modify and lose those elements of your divorce management plan that aren't working, you can improve things quickly.

Remember this principle: People think that if they win in Family Court means the other side really has to lose.  Well, if the other side loses, do you think they're going to give up?

It's not going to happen.
 
In the end, the biggest losers in most cases are the kids. 

Unless of course you begin with the most realistic end result in mind: Waging Peace on behalf of your children as opposed to waging war over your children. If that principle is central to defining and clarifying your most realistic Family Court goals when it comes to custody, access and child support, you are ensuring a win/win approach to your Family Court Strategy.

Judges appreciate that approach. Your kids will appreciate it tenfold.
Focus on is this principle. hold it dear to your heart, allow no one to dissuade you from it.

And it will begin to manifest itself. Both of us have seen it again and again manifesting itself in our lives, and those of our clients. We will have a special audio available in the near future of one of our most successful clients, Sean Slaven.

He took this approach to heart and now has his son between 65-75% of the available parenting time. When we first met Sean, he was almost positioned to have his parental rights terminated.

Within 15 months, he achieved the above parenting goal. If you apply these principles diligently, there is every possibility you can to.

There are no guarantees in life, but there is one almost certain guarantee: If you continue doing that which is not working, it will continue keeping on not working….

Got it? Good now go practice and rehearse what you are learning from us.

Let us know how its working out by joining us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call Divorced Dad Weekly where we go into more depth on these concepts.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

Need help?  Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.

Let's consider your new definition of winning in Family Court.  If you want to hold everybody accountable when they're not meeting the best interest of your child, the best way to be doing it is to be helpful to everybody…

You will often find Family Court operates on what we characterize as "The Intimidation Factor". This means when someone can't logically explain their position and why it is the best possible thing for a child, they usually "bear their fangs" and try to intimidate you into an inappropriate consent agreement.

Don't go there. If it feels wrong, it is wrong. You however are likely at a loss on how to handle an aggressive person who is threatening and intimidating you. Especially if you've not done your homework when it comes to Family Court…it becomes hard to resist not caving into an unreasonable demand.

Especially if it's cloaked in cleverness and a deceptive appearance of reasonableness. If it's reasonable, it can be clearly, easily and quickly explained.

If it does not meet this criteria, here's your best strategy:
 
Remember this phrase: " Help me to understand how your plan is best for our child", if the offer is cloaked as being "reasonable", but feels deceitful. Then shut up and let the other side convince you with logic. Hear them out fully. Be sure you understand what is being offered. If it is possible to reach a god compromise, do so.

However, if at any point they "bear their fangs" and try to intimidate you into an inappropriate consent agreement, remember this phrase: " Help me to understand how your unhelpfulness is best for our child". Then say nothing. Let the other side retract their intimidation. If they become more threatening, simply sigh and say: "…Sadly we are not going to agree on this…I think we should see the Judge."

Whenever your ex-wife, her lawyer or even the Judge uses fuzzy logic to justify anything you consider inappropriate for your child use the above as a method to defuse the situation or put the person creating the problem on notice that you will not be easily intimidated
 
We're all part of the same team when we're in Family Court: The team that is supposed to work together to make the child happy, healthy and feeling secure that its OK to love both Mom and Dad without intimidation being part of the equation.

Intimidation is always an inappropriate tactic when it comes to what is best for kids. Don't be afraid to call someone on it when they resort to such dirty tricks. Hold them accountable through "Waging Peace"

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

In order for a divorced dad to even be in a position protect his child's rights to have a relationship with their father, divorced dads must have a plan that is based upon what has worked for fathers thus far when they have found themselves before a Family Court Judge.

Without a game plan there is no chance to properly exercise a fathers rights during custody, access, and child support hearings which take place in Family Court.

So the BIG question is: Do you have a Family Court Game Plan?

Ask yourself: Have you been to the courthouse?  Do you even know what it is?  Have you gone inside?  Have you visited with the clerks?  Do you know who's a good clerk, a bad clerk?  Have you gone and observed the judges during motion hearings?

Learn absolutely everything about your Family Court and how it operates. That's what successful divorced dads do.
 
You've got to be prepared.  If you don't know where you're at and if you don't know where you're going, how can you possibly have a plan? Watch, learn, ask questions, prepare, execute, test, measure the results of your Family Court Game Plan.
 
You must incorporate planning, testing, observing and correcting to remain on target to achieving your heart's desire: A favorable family Court order. These are the skills required to be able to focus like a laser beam on your desired outcome.

You must also know that parts of your plan will fail. You must be ready, willing and able to see that which is failing in your divorce management plan and jettison it immediately.

Do more of what works, and lose that which does not.

Fathers who have no idea where they want to go, what their outcome is, what kind of goals they have are going to lose LARGE in Family Court when it comes to attending custody, access, and child support hearings.

That's due to a lack of preparation and sometimes the root causes are the divorced dad is overwhelmed, and totally confused.  These fathers have no accurate roadmap.  No plan whatsoever.

And as a result, they often waver back and forth, indecisively, unable to sort out what is best to do.

These divorced dads are acting like they haven't got a clue, because those are the facts - they are totally unprepared. They have not done their homework, research nor performed any reconnaissance to scope out what they will be facing in Family Court.
 
Many divorced dads really get their butts kicked in Family Court simply because they couldn't make a decision, because they are on that emotional roller coaster, and are finding it incredibly difficult to make the necessary decisions that lead to success.
 
That's a decision in itself.
 
The best thing you can do is download our Free Report: Divorce 101: 7 Steps to Waging Peace in Family Court, and to join us on our weekly calls at DivorcedDadWeekly.com

You can also listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how to turn your situation around from a losing proposition, into a winning one….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

All successful strategies begin with knowing what it is that you exactly what it is that you want. Successful fathers are quick to decide what they want and are slow to change their minds. This is the "proven strategy" of today's most successful people in all walks of life. You'll need to consider and apply that thinking in all custody, access, and child support matters.

This is the basis of all divorce management strategy.

Focusing solely on the exercise of "fathers rights" will only harm Your chances of success. It's about the rights of your child to have their father deeply embedded as a part of their life. It is not about your rights to be their father - the law in most locations not constructed to uphold fathers rights, but rather the rights of the child. That is the more persuasive approach in Family Court

As a separated and/or divorced dad who is seeking custody, access, in Family Court, and/or to reduce your child support spousal support/alimony payments to reflect actual income, you must remain focused on working your divorce management Plan. You must be insightful enough to adjust it as necessary to achieve your outcome.

You must lose any hint of emotional instability. Lose your cynicism, anger, bitterness and other negative emotions that only tend to portray and prove you to be the angry man your ex-wife and her lawyer are claiming you to be.

To improve your success rate, you must "show up" for the "game". What this means is you must work at it, go to visit Family Court as if you are on a field trip, observing how Family Court Judges decide custody, access, and child support matters. "Learning the ropes" through attending at Family Court will help clarify what's possible.

You'll find that preparation is the key ingredient to all success in Family Court.

Watching the action in Family Court is how you will find the best lawyers, fathers that are successful and strategies that will be most helpful to resolving your situation. But above all…you must focus on your attitude. Because that's one of the prime character traits Judges observe when people are before them in Family Court.

Be the good man you claim to be - a man of peace. "Wage Peace" on behalf of your children's rights to family; train yourself and rehearse for success.

Your children are worth it.

Custody for fathers is possible.  We've helped countless dads to improve their situation and/or win in Family Court on behalf of their children when the situation requires it. Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

Recognize where you're at: Are you suffering from White Knight Syndrome? Are you trying to rescue the damsel in distress? Do you see your ex-wife as that damsel in distress? Or is she really "The Devil in Disguise"?
 
Are you still going to be there for your ex-wife, sharing strategies, your game plan and secrets even though she and her lawyer is really giving you a hard time?
 
A lot of guys think that their wife is the damsel in distress, and that she REALLY needs their help and, when really, she's "The Devil in Disguise"…

If you are:

- Having difficulty accepting the reality of the situation;

- Refusing to be anything other than strong,

- Paying for everything, but are being labeled a deadbeat;

- Facing situations with no power and/or control over the basics of your parenting issues; and/or

- Being manipulated by your wife, her lawyer or even your lawyer to agree to anything that's not in your child's best interests….

…perhaps you are suffering from White Knight Syndrome: The desire to be all things to all people, but not acknowledging your legitimate needs for respect, inclusion, financial responsibility, fathering your children, and being heard, understood and acknowledged so that a compromise that works for everyone, especially your children can co-exist within.

White Knight Syndrome is common. The cure is easy: Acceptance of reality, and then planning, strategizing and implementing within that which is realistic, not wishful thinking.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

The first rule of "Divorce Management Fundamentals" is this:  Get your act together; get your emotions under control. Focus on your children.  You were child once.  You're an adult now. 

It's not your turn to be acting like a child. Your kids need your best examples of how to be civil with each other. They need your example of how to end a relationship maturely, with integrity, not hate.

They need that example desperately. They need a standard they can count on, look up to and to emulate in their life's journey. They are looking to you and their mother to set that example. And make no mistake, kids will see you as liars and hypocrites if you deliver anything less.

Let's face it.  Divorce is the most difficult of situations for kids because they have absolutely no control of how it unfolds, plays out and/or affects their well being and development.
 
Parents are the ones that are choosing to separate.  Get yourself together so that you can be there to help your kids through this process.
 
Kids often think they're the ones to blame.
 
Remember to tell them, "It's not your fault."

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

Most divorced dads have no idea what to expect in Family Court. Many have an idea that it is totally fair. That would be an incorrect assumption. Very often, especially if you are a man, you will find it quite unfair.

But then so is life.

Successful divorced dads recognize that their is an enormous amount of "gamesmanship" played in Family Court.  You've got to get yourself educated.
The # 1 game most lawyers play is "intimidation", scaring you into submission when you are totally unprepared.

The answer to this is preparation through education.

You've got to get into your courthouse and start learning your judges and learning the games that people play in front of them.

Go in and watch the action - learn your local Family Court Courthouse inside out. Learn who the staff are, who the judges are, what the forms are, what those forms do, what the rules are, what the laws are, how particular judges decide cases, who the good lawyers are in your community for fathers, and how to handle yourself in Family Court, especially if you can't afford a lawyer.

That's the best way. Next best thing - Watch Judge Judy on TV
Why Judge Judy you ask?
 
Because after a while, she's actually quite predictable on how she reacts to someone. And that's the thing you're looking for, the predictability in the way judges decide who to believe, and how they make their rulings. You want to learn how to "read a judge", to predict their reactions to what you are telling them.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

The following is not legal advice

The purpose of Divorced Dad Minute is to fortify you with hope, skills, strengths, and coaching daily. Consider it to be your daily pump up in order to get you ready for Family Court.

We will be discussing ideas, strategies, tips, insights and skills that have been used by many fathers to succeed in Family Court. The most challenging aspect of going through Family Court as a divorced dad, is the level of isolation most men experience.

No one understands or relates to your level of loss, pain, despair, hurt, confusion. No one has an answer for you on what to do, who to listen to, what works, what's expected, how to find, retain and sustain legal help from an effective lawyer. How to even qualify good lawyers, and separate them from bad ones, those that will harm your case.

That's where we come in: Ultimately, Divorced Dad Minute is a daily coaching program consisting of a one minute podcast, or if it's easier for you, a blog with daily tips and insights to help you begin the process of learning the way successful divorced dads approach their problems and solve them.

You really need a coach when you're going to learn new skills, be it
speed skating, hockey, baseball, golf. Family Court Preparation is no different. You must learn divorce management skills.
 
And then: Practice, practice, practice.
 
Practice makes perfect.  Repetition is the mother of all skill. The whole point of the exercise in any coaching program is to keep the student thinking about the process. Focused. To instill skills and and confidence
 
You've got to keep yourself mentally, spiritually, and emotionally fit for Family Court. We're here to help you do just that.
 
Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

 The following is not legal advice

Today's tip is "Fathers' Rights" is not a dirty word.  No more so than equal rights for women, nor the right to human dignity for anyone. Many civil rights philosophies have been borne out of the struggles of "the  oppressed" to realize their ambitions of a better world; often by winning over the oppressor through love, kindness, forgiveness and education.

Those who seek to maintain their "power and control" often label those who seek to exercise equal rights as a "backlash"; and if the oppressed are frustrated and angry, prone to violence or outbursts, often they play into the stereotype the "oppressor" wishes to be the general consensus - the widely held view of the public.

In today's world, it is a most difficult time for children exposed to the violence of women. And make no mistake, it exists as surely as does the violence of men.

It is not the norm, and their are degrees to violence, but it is never gender specific. Either one's values are aligned, or have a tendency to be aligned with peace, or violence.

A tendency is often what we find; often situational, possibly cultural, be it the geographic area, religion, family structure we come from and most often reliant on habits formed and solidified over time since birth and reinforced by where we belong to in our immediate world.  

If we are ever to have "fathers rights" not be a dirt word, we must claim it as our word, instead of the word that has been foisted upon us by others.

Sometimes, the most appropriate solution for a child is for their dad to have sole custody or primary parent status post separation and divorce. Slowly the face of the family is evolving into this concept. Here's why:

The fathers of today are "sons of the liberation" - Young boys who have grown up in post feminist politics of the 1970's. These fathers are only seeking what they have been taught to expect as children - equal rights.

But when one faces systemic bias, bigotry and closed-mindedness born out of intellectual dishonesty, superficial investigation by custody evaluators assessors, children's lawyers, and a general unwillingness to hear evidence by legal professionals, it can be extremely challenging and frustrating.

When a father succumbs to the emotional overwhelm that accompanies those challenges and frustrations, and begins acting irrationally or inappropriately, he is supplying the evidence of parental unfitness. As unfair a standard as it may be that Mom can cry in Court and get sympathy, while who men cry are viewed as weak and possibly unstable, it is a fact of life: Men are expected to be STRONG.

Especially when it comes to their character.

Therefore, in Family Court, Dad must be strong, resolute and like teflon - nothing bad sticks…. So what is a father to do?

Today's tip is "Fathers' Rights" is not a dirty word.  No more so than equal rights for women, nor the right to human dignity for anyone.

Many civil rights philosophies have been borne out of the struggles of "the  oppressed" to realize their ambitions of a better world; often by winning over the oppressor through love, kindness, forgiveness and education.

Those who seek to maintain their "power and control" often label those who seek to exercise equal rights as a "backlash"; and if the oppressed are frustrated and angry, prone to violence or outbursts, often they play into the stereotype the "oppressor" wishes to be the general consensus - the widely held view of the public.

In today's world, it is a most difficult time for children exposed to the violence of women. And make no mistake, it exists as surely as does the violence of men.

It is not the norm, and their are degrees to violence, but it is never gender specific. Either one's values are aligned, or have a tendency to be aligned with peace, or violence.

A tendency is often what we find; often situational, possibly cultural, be it the geographic area, religion, family structure we come from and most often reliant on habits formed and solidified over time since birth and reinforced by where we belong to in our immediate world.  

If we are ever to have "fathers rights" not be a dirt word, we must claim it as our word, instead of the word that has been foisted upon us by others.

Sometimes, the most appropriate solution for a child is for their dad to have sole custody or primary parent status post separation and divorce. Slowly the face of the family is evolving into this concept. Here's why:

The fathers of today are "sons of the liberation" - Young boys who have grown up in post feminist politics of the 1970's. These fathers are only seeking what they have been taught to expect as children - equal rights.

But when one faces systemic bias, bigotry and closed-mindedness born out of intellectual dishonesty, superficial investigation by custody evaluators assessors, children's lawyers, and a general unwillingness to hear evidence by legal professionals, it can be extremely challenging and frustrating.

When a father succumbs to the emotional overwhelm that accompanies those challenges and frustrations, and begins acting irrationally or inappropriately, he is supplying the evidence of parental unfitness. As unfair a standard as it may be that Mom can cry in Court and get sympathy, while who men cry are viewed as weak and possibly unstable, it is a fact of life: Men are expected to be STRONG.

Especially when it comes to their character.

Therefore, in Family Court, Dad must be strong, resolute and like teflon - nothing bad sticks…. So what is a father to do?

Recognize and act upon the knowledge that with "Rights" come "Obligations" and "Responsibilities". Especially when children are involved. We adults are their caretakers. Children are a gift from God. They deserve our very best efforts and vigilance at all times. They are our future hope; someday we will come to rely upon them, when we are in the remaining years of our lives.

It is today that we fathers must set the example. This is our generation's most important challenge, one that will shape that which follows next. Anger at oppression should only be fuel to take positive child-centered action.

Anger is not the destination. Peace is.

We might consider reframing the idea of "Fathers' Rights" into being equated with the best interests of children, in the same way that motherhood and "women's rights" have been linked to the rights of children. But to create that "linkage" with honor, integrity and inclusiveness. Respect for a child's natural heritage - Their Family.

Custody for fathers is possible.  We've helped countless dads to improve their situation and/or win in Family Court on behalf of their children when the situation requires it.

Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo

Download Link - Click Here - Divorced Dad Weekly - Study Guide # One

The following audio is from the Divorced Weekly # 1 call - September 17, 2007. If you wish to archive this call and study guide, do so now, as it will only remain in this location while we beta test the system and have the next component's for the teleseminar training call system built.

This weeks inaugural teleseminar training call topics are:

1. Overview of Divorced Dad Weekly Calls.

2. Why we are doing these calls.

3. Our background as adult children of divorce; parents, step-parents and professionals.

4. The Divorce 101 Steps: An overview of your seven step divorce management plan.

5. Question and Answer session

6. Next week's Divorced Dad Weekly Teleseminar Training Call Details.

 Welcome to Episode One of DivorcedDadMinute.com. Currently work is in progress on this blog. Eight more episodes await mixdown, with 283 Tips awaiting recording. The next 24 tips and mixdown of what we have so far commences in about 10 days after we return from from a business trip. Stick around, lots of GREAT things will happen here if you are a Divorced Dad.

DADDY is the most important role I’ve played in life. Our podcast mentors Dads to ‘Wage Peace, not War” during separation, divorce and Family Court proceedings. Heidi and I co-host ”Divorced Dad Minute”, it’s the best of what we’ve learned in our journey.

DivorcedDadMinute.com is a MASSIVE call to action for Men: TO ACT at a higher standard of conduct and deliberate purpose during divorce. Children often believe divorce is their fault. They need constant reassurance from Mom and Dad that it is not. They need parents to make peace, not war. This podcast is Dad’s reminder to be the man he claims to be.

IN THIS PREVIEW, you will learn about the value of 'WAGING PEACE" during separation & divorce, when confronting the many difficult situations divorced dads face in and/or out of Family Court. You will also find the Report: Divorce 101 is available for download. Go sign up NOW.

You'll  learn a new way to see things during your journey. You will find there is a HUGE REWARD for taking action at the end of the report, a Secret Resource that launches in a few weeks once the final technical details are worked out., to make this blog and podcast interactive and responsive to what you are seeking.

We put our heart and soul into this podcast, having lived with divorce as kids, adults, activists and now as legal professionals moving to the next phase of our professional lives with this podcast, which will be main part of our international outreach program to Divorced Dads like you around the world!

Danny Guspie & Heidi Nabert
The Dynamic Divorce Duo