The following is not legal advice
The quickest way to learn a new skill is to find a mentor or “father figure” who can show you the ropes and put you on the path to the shortcut.
Mentors and father figures are everywhere and, you know, having a mentor and a father figure help you out while you're going through a really difficult time when you are mad during divorce can one of the most helpful things that you can do for yourself.
Men don't really have the same sort of support network set up that women do. Women can easily sit around in the kitchen table and help each other out. Men however won't even stick their head out of the car to ask for directions.
It's really important to have a coach, somebody to help you through this process. Get a coach during divorce.
During divorce, custody, access, and child support matters, divorced dads often don’t realize, that there are two elements to every separation and/or divorce. Even when you are returning to Family Court to re-visit, modify and terminate a Court order.
These elements are:
1) The Family / Educational Problems that Family Court can't solve…
2) The Legal Problems that Family Court will attempt to solve…
The best way to understand and appreciate how this podcast can help can help you and how our other services are organized is by way of an example:
If you were a professional athlete, you'd have a coach and a manager. Your coach would address educational and performance issues and your manager would address business issues.
Fathers Resources services follow the exact same model:
1) Separation & Divorce Management Counseling / Coaching - Provided per our Client Services Fee Agreement. These services address educational and performance issues.
2) Legal Services & Representation - Provided by, and supervised by Lawyers to address your legal problems.
You have come to us to learn the ideas, insights and strategies of successful divorced dads. It is no secret that divorced dads have a really hard time in Family Court. However, for many years we've worked with these fathers, teaching them methods of approaching their problems. By integrating these services and methods, these divorced dads, "optimized" their approach for the best chance for success.
Family Law problems often cost a lot of money. You will want to know how to best manage costs by understanding what has worked for fathers and what has worked against them. You will want to understand how to best work with your lawyer, and how Family Court operates. This approach "optimizes" your chances for success.
While no one can guarantee an outcome at Family Court, I can confidently say that the father who applies what we teach stands a far better chance than the one who is uneducated, and knows nothing about working with Lawyers and the Family Court.
Education = Knowledge = Power…
This approach is also based upon the same model of self-education and community resources that women used in the 1970's to educate themselves to begin solving their problems in Family Court. The approach women took 35 years ago created an entire industry to service their needs. Consequently, women do not face many of the problems men face, when it comes to finding help geared to their needs.
Men face HUGE challenges finding such help - For example,we found that out from first hand experience many years ago as a divorced dad and step-mom. We could not find help, so together, we decided to create these unique services that can refer lawyer and other professionals specifically geared to addressing men's needs.
Next, we began researching what worked for men in these situations. What were the methods, tactics, strategies, approaches and ideas that actually work. What we found was this: Kids want peace in their family. And so does Family Court. However dads seemed to be unable to properly address, explain and voice how their plan made peace for their children, while their ex-wives plan did not really address that concern of children.
Being adult children of divorce this made ABSOLUTE sense to both of us. It spoke to our hearts…
More often than not, mom's plan is to do anything necessary to get rid of Dad. Not always - there are lots of great mom's out there who don't act that way. But the dads I see, it is usually their major problem.
And there is a way to better address these issues: With us you will learn the immense value in defusing situations by learning how to "WAGE PEACE" inside and outside Family Court. You will hear me in talk about this strategy again and again in our support group meetings and in our audios.
When you take it to heart, you will begin to see the situation shift. It may take time, depending on how bad the problems are. But those dads who use this approach more often see results. Few cases are so extreme that nothing works. But there are a few - thankfully they are in the minority.
The following will better help you to understand the enormous value of integrating this approach into your situation.
The emotional state you and your former wife are in; the way you and your former wife see things as a result of your emotional state; your verbal and written communication and negotiation skills, the choices you make, how you react to each others way of seeing things, communication style, and values.
Depending on where you are at there are possible family dynamics problems, personal performance problems and/or problems when it comes to the reasonable application of problem solving skills.
As your Separation / Divorce Management Performance Coaches, we act as a sounding board for your ideas, making helpful suggestions to improve your outcome by teaching you how to use your intimate knowledge of how your ex-wife views the world, in order to create helpful tactics and strategies that "wage peace" as opposed to war over your children.
We’re very insistent that client's act from an educated and enlightened perspective, not an angry one. We've developed a "separation and divorce management system that we call Divorce 101 which will help you see things with a fresh set of eyes.
The philosophy and process of Divorce 101 will give you the ways and means to deal with the natural anger you feel over injustice, and give you specific strategies that have helped countless fathers to succeed in their matters, by dealing with their issues, and seeing the situation from a child's perspective.
Go download the special report called Divorce 101 to help introduce you to these concepts. Take some time to review this document and ask yourself how you can apply what you've learned. Feel free to ask us your questions at any time at http://www.DivorcedDadWeekly.com
Listen to today's Divorced Dad Minute to learn how….come back often for new insights on how you can begin turning your situation around today.
Need help? Sign up for our free newsletter and report:
Divorce 101 - 7 Steps to Waging Peace
which can be found on the top of right hand side of the home page.
Join us on our weekly teleseminar / webcast training call
Divorced Dad Weekly where we go
into more depth on these concepts